Cougars and Pumas Outmatch a Tiger

On Twitter this morning, popular trends “Afghanistan” and “Christmas” were superseded by mentions of “Tiger Woods.” Apparently cheating on your wife puts you above a global war campaign and saving humanity of its sins. If you’re a pro golfer, that is.

Whitney Cummings, comedian and actress:

Tiger Woods has managed to make guys wearing golf hats even douchier.

In an open letter published on his official website, Woods downplayed rumors of the late night attack that resulted in his car crash (wasn’t a Buick, if you’re wondering). While expressing remorse for his “personal failings,” Woods also asks for some private space: “Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.”

Let’s see what others had to say about that…

From Will Brinson of Golf Fanhouse:

In a shocking development, Tiger essentially admitted to SOME things — without directly mentioning any particular item and/or transgression — in a statement on his Web site this morning. It should be noted that Tiger’s statement is not directly an admission but an apology, as well as a somewhat emotional plea for privacy.

From Conservative blogger, Michele Malkin:

You can’t be one of the most famous celebrities in the world, carry on multiple affairs with fame-hungry women, cheat on your gorgeous, dedicated wife with whom you have had two gorgeous children (whom you have posed with for public photos), and expect to be left alone. Are tabloids out of control? Sure. But Tiger needs to man up and stop whining about the press. Like it or not, his bad judgment is news.

A somewhat different reaction from Brian Moylan of Gawker:

Screw privacy! What kind of ladies Tiger like? Skinny, leggy, conventionally attractive women with long hair. He’s not so picky about the color, but he’s really into the length. It helps if they have an exotic name—even if it’s Grubbs. All of his confirmed mistresses worked in Vegas nightclubs, so it seems that’s where Mr. Woods goes to get his holes in one—especially at The Bank, which seems to be filled with deposits from Mr. Woods’ millions.

But it was probably best summarized by this quote from Perez Hilton:

This is getting bad for you, buddy!

No doubt.